..let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Hebrews 12:1 NLT
Let me tell you about my crazy week.
Sunday September 30th: I finished my weekend playing softball at Xavier. We won all three games and I was so proud of my team!! I feels so great to have something you have worked so hard on come together and be successful. We play Dayton in the next few weeks and they are pretty good so hopefully we can continue to work hard and win games.
Monday October 1st: Well Derek asked me out again. I told him yes this time. So I am technically “in a relationship.” I’m not happy about it though. Derek is a great guy and I love spending time with him, but everything is so physical all the time. I don’t want physical I want to put the brakes on and slow the crap down. I have literally had to kick him out of my apartment because he doesn’t want to leave. I just want some freedom and space with this relationship. I don’t want to be smothered all the time. Is that to much to ask? Is that hypocritical?
Tuesday October 2nd: I had class. Yay… lol
Wednesday October 3rd: Everything hit the Fan. I got an email from an upset player on Sunday after the games. She wanted more playing time and was confused on why she hadn’t gotten it because she had worked harder than everyone else on the team. I told her we would talk about this after practice and then it rained so we didn’t get to and she wanted and answer pronto so Tracy Sarah and I sat down composed an email that addressed her concerns and sent it to her. We weren’t mean we just informed her that 11 other players also wanted more time and right now everyone was getting fair playing time based on several factors. She then replied that she was quitting and that we were horrible coaches and then blew up Facebook with tons of drama. I emailed her back to make sure this is what she wanted and if it was to meet up to give her back her helmet and to get my uniform back and she agreed to meet me Thursday at practice with this email:
I’m not upset at all. Unlike you all, I’m 22 years old and have been out of high
school 4 years. The immaturity is something I left behind. When it keeps me from
being on the field, I def don’t have time for it. But I can certainly understand
why you all would be upset, you just lost your best outfielder
I was so frustrated at this point that I just went off. I sent back a very inappropriate email that I regret and told her exactly what I thought. She then sent me a text message before practice on Wednesday telling me she would not meet me to get her helmet back at practice and wanted to meet me in private instead… Honey do I look stupid? I’m not meeting you in private so you can beat me up or yell at me. I told her Thursday was all that worked for me and she replied saying that she was going to press charges if I didn’t return the helmet and if I didn’t stop texting her. It was a great day to be the president. I still haven’t set up a day to get my uniform back because every time I text her all i get is “Please stop harassing me.”
Thursday October 4th: I had classes all day got selected to run for Congress and left for Chicago. It was lots of fun.
Friday October 5th: I arrived in Chicago late Thursday night got a hotel room and prepared myself for the interview with Red Frog Events the next day. Mom and I did a little shopping in Chicago and explored a little. Then it was game time. I went to the Office and I fell in love almost instantly. It is such a cool space!! Everything it so awesome and I just love it. I think my interview went really well, but I am one of 2,000 applications. I tried my hardest to WOW them, but I’m not sure if I did or not. I find out in a week one way or another. Fingers Crossed.
Saturday October 6th: I ran in the Cincinnati Color Run!!! It was so much fun and I ran the whole thing!!! I was so proud of myself my first complete 5k ever! My tutu was awesome I was covered in paint and I had a blast! I am one step closer to become the 5k runner that I want to be.
Sunday October 7th: Today has been strange I have been doing alot of thinking and I’m not happy with the direction my life is headed. Church this morning helped me to realize that I need to be merciful, and that I need to be happy with God’s compassion and I need to be patient. That God is good and if I continue to glorify him everything will be ok. Derek and I were supposed to go to church this morning together and he bailed on me. It hurt. I want a man who love Jesus Christ. I want that Godly relationship. I look at the relationships and the newlyweds at my church and that is what I want in a relationship. I don’t have that with Derek. I like Derek I do but I don’t think it is a romantic like. I am just having a really hard time seeing this relationship going anywhere. I just don’t want this relationship I don’t know why and I can’t explain my thought process I just don’t want it, and that sucks.
That is my week in a nut shell. It feels seriously good to vent and just write it out. I’m glad none of my friends except one know about this site so I can just escape everything and talk it out.